Out of hibernation

Apologies for the lack of posts coming from myself over the past few months. This has been the greatest hibernation I have succumbed to. I can as well use the traditional excuses of having been horrendously busy and stuff, but I choose not to. I have heard my friend (Varalu) say this thathuvam several times - you can always make time for things you want to. Hence, I refrain :)

But yeah, here's how it went - the past few months, a mix of good and sad times.

Sri Ram S(c)ene

The whole of Bangalore is brimming with news about Sri Ram Sene planning to protest and disrupt the Valentine's day celebrations in the city. But, this is not going to be any other rally or hunger strike or violence. Mr Pramod Muthalik has devised a new way to help couples in the pipeline, waiting for their official confirmation (Wedding). He knows exactly what he is doing. Do you??

NDTV, got in touch with the Sene chief to drill out some useful facts and gain a deeper understanding of the Sene. Here are some mind-boggling and thought-provoking excerpts from the interview.

Correpondent: Welcome Muthalik Ji!
MM : Jaaaai Sri Raam!!

Correspondent: There has been news about you planning to perform a Ram Vivaaha throughout the city. Is this true?
MM: [nods his head]

Correspondent: So, what are your plans? And what's your agenda?
MM: Well, I plan to roam around the city on the fine day of Feb 14 with my benevolent soldiers (codenamed vaanar sene) in gangs, armed with close-circuit cameras, priests and other raw materials necessary for a typical hindu wedding. We subsequently spot couples in each locality of the city (Ram Sene members are by default exempted from the same, under the Act_of_Ayodhya-12A. We are doing this to prevent any accidental reverse-kalai) and if found dating, we take them to the nearest temples where a Ram Sene Priest performs their wedding and then they are taken to the HR's Desk (Registrar Office) for further confirmation where the couple are named as Ram[dot]Guys_Actual_Name and Sita[dot]Girls_Actual_Name.

Correspondent: But then, Bangalore is a city teeming with couples. How do you plan to deal with such high numbers?
MM: To handle the entire bulk of Bangalore couples, Ram Sene is running special vehicles called Ayodhya Vaahans, which offer home pickup as well. All you need to do is call 1100-2000-3100 (TOLL FREE) OR sms Hamari Shaadi Karvao [SPACE] Muthalik Mama to 323.

Correspondent: Making use of technology! Impressive, Mr Muthaaa... [looks at his notes]
MM: Mama!! You can call me Muthalik Mama :)

Correspondent: So, what are your long term goals?
MM: I believe that Ram Vivaaha is going to set a trend for the younger generation. I am able to see that kids in the future will have debates on Ram Vivaha Vs Arranged Marriage in their schools/colleges.

Correspondent: Would it be a logically sound inference that Ram Vivaaha would happen only on Feb 14?
MM: Ofcourse, Ram Vivaha is built upon a bunch of insanely set premises.

Correspondent: Interesting! Could you please elaborate on that?
MM: Well..
-All weddings are performed ONLY ONCE in a calendar year during the auspicious day (shubh muhurth) of Feb 14.
-Eligiblity Criteria : Indian Citizen and not a current or ex-member of Ram Sene :)
-Due to heavy rush, it is advisable that you inform us of your location well in advance so that we can pick you up accordingly
-Female members, who could potentially seduce The Mutalik Mama himself are strictly prohibited from applying
-Male members, wearing revealing clothes like torn-jeans and boxer shots are also strictly prohibited from applying (as MM is not very confident about his orientation)

Correspondent: We also heard that you make the girl tie rakhi to the guy. Why is that so?
MM: [chuckles to himself] Its simple! Whenever WE find the girl to be an eye-candy, we make her tie a rakhi to the guy. For all our services, this is a minimal sur-charge :)

Correspondent: It looks like you have an inherent dislike towards love-marriage. Why is it so?
MM: [gives a terse one-line reply] Lord Rama had an arranged marriage unlike Lord Krishna.

Correspondent: Hmm.. So, what does your Sene have in mind for the future?

MM: We have a stiff target to meet and several miles to leap. Our next plans are -
- Ban Salsa classes. Victims will be forced to pair up for a salsa with a Ram Sene member (**Conditions Apply)
- Guys sporting long hair OR dying/hair-coloring their hair. Victims will be immediately taken
to Tirupathi to have their entire hair shaven and dropped back home with ONE laddoo :)
- Couples spotted on two-wheelers shall be immediately asked to stop and thereafter continue the journey on a special donkey provided by Sri Ram Sene.
- Co-Ed schools/colleges shall have separate partitions for girls and guys styudying in the same class with a tamper-proof wall in between.
- Mixed Doubles form of sport shall be condemned strictly. Recent match involving Sania Mirza and Mahesh Bhupathi shall be the last one in the entire history! Victims shall be made to play kabadi in our clay court.
- LalBagh and CubbonPark shall be turned into LalMandir and KambanKoil respectively
- We understand that banning the perennial chain of CCDs and Barista's throughout the city might not be effective. So, a time slice of 5 minutes per couple shall be imposed in these coffee shops, beyond which they shall be siezed by the Sri Ram Sene and become MM's property.
- All duet songs in Bollywood shall be remade as Devotional songs retaining the cast (but with a modified costume :P)

Correspondent: It has been said that you have criticized the trend amongst the current youth or rather inclination towards Rock and Western music. Any comments or justification?
MM: [sounding furious] The youth these days are taking us away from our sweet history of music. Its a rapid degradation of music. Our mythology too had music bands but then the instruments were different. We had Goddess Saraswathi on the lead Veena, Lord Krishna on the Flute and Naarad on the Rhythm Pads. I strongly urge people to get back to our tradition or else we would have to take stringent measures.

Correspondent: I am afraid we are running out of the time Mr Mutalik Mama and I shall have to cut-short this session. But, I must admit it was a pleasure talking to you.
MM: [totally surprised by the abrupt end and forgetting his mantra] Jaaai ...
Corresponent: Jaaai Sri Raam!

The Function of Ram Sene - RamSene()







--
A News Article on the above issue.

Get your bums on the saddle!!

I know I shouldn't be preaching this as I am not good at following it, thanks to my mind (it has this little inertia which opposes and combats any move/change that tends to disrupt my rhythm of daily conventional activities). But, I just came across this cool idea of commuting in Bangalore, shared in the Ignite Bangalore event and couldn't help passing it on to the readers.

Yeah! I am talking about "Bicyling in Bangalore" or rather "Biking in Bangalore" (if that would convince you ;)) With the growing pollution, crowd, commotion and fuel costs at its worst-best in Bangalore, this seems to be a perfectly feasible and last probable resort left for the people. I understand that , the elite-few who are already into this movement (an accidental pun??) or those newbies who are getting inspired, are susceptible to some cranky talks around. Facing the traffic one fine morning in a tiny bicycle with a constipated face madeup to look cool while you are actually getting stresssed out pedalling hard is disgusting indeed. It takes nerves and ***** to do something that invites a dozen souls to giggle at you. Perhaps, there would be a saturation limit when the roads can no longer hold automobiles anymore, when the traffic real-estate will become immensely precious and ways to optimize it will be talked of, a web of flyovers spanning the entire 3-D space would have been built and that's when the city might think of conversion to this mode of transport. This is certainly a great idea atleast for those who are willing to take it up. I have myself known a friend of mine, who bicycles through the city.

Why Bangalore makes it easy?
- Great weather all around the year
- Good wide pavements along most roads and there's a talk of cycling lanes too
- Prospects of social networking on the way is high in the city ;)

Positives
- Healthier - exercise built into your commute - the treadmills were inspired by bicycles, now it's time you revert back :)
- Fuel efficient (unaffected by lorry strikes and market)
- Often quicker (average speed) than cars/autos (this you 'll best realize when you drive short distances monitored by multiple junctions and during peak hours)
- Physically and mentally reduces the feel of congestion
- Reduced (rather nil) carbon footprint
- Talk to people on the route and build friends ;)

So, guys! get your bums on the saddle..


Links:
Bangalore Biker's Club
Blog@BumsOnTheSaddleDotCom

TWU kicks off..

ThoughtWorks University (Batch 9)



Trip1 : Bangalore City tour - Jun 6, '08
Places Covered
* Bull Temple
* Lalbagh Botanical Gardens
* Lunch @ Koshys, St Marks Rd


Trip2 : Trip to Mascal - Jun 14, '08


TWU Graduation Function : July 18 '08

Know your new Airport..

The new Bengaluru International Airport will commence operations on Friday, May 23, 2008 (00:01 hours of May 23). All flights landing and departing after midnight will operate from the new airport and flights arriving before midnight (on May 22, 2008) and departing after midnight will also operate from the new airport. As the date fast approaches, some insights into the whole new passenger experience that awaits you.

Departure from Bengaluru International Airport
Please find information on the location of the airport and the various means of transport how to get there in the attached materials. Once you arrived at the airport, enter the check in hall, which is common for domestic and international passengers. There are 53 Check In Counters and 18 Self check in machines. There is no need to screen your bag before check in.

Once you have checked in, follow the domestic and international departure gate signs on the first floor and proceed through security. Post security check you have on offer a wide array of retail and food & beverage outlets. There are also comfortable lounges for first and business class passengers. Free Wi-Fi Internet is also available for those carrying their laptops.

Arrival at Bengaluru International Airport

The airport is equipped with adequate number of immigration counters and baggage carousels for quick baggage retrieval. A large duty free shop is also located in the baggage claim area.
The following means of transport are available from day one:
* AC Volvo Buses operated by BMTC to key destinations in the city (Indicative Price to MG Road: Rs. 120)
*Reliable professional taxi services operated by MERU and Easycabs, with a metered fare (Indicative Rate to MG Road: Rs. 600)
*Premium Limousines operated by Hertz and Akbar Travels – cars with drivers as well as self driven cars are available.

However, Please note that all international passengers would be charged a user development fee of Rs 1070/- per ticket.

This way your travel experience should be to “Breeze in & Breeze Out”.





Documents for your reference:

Traffic & Parking Map - Upload a doc

Read this doc on Scribd: Traffic & Parking Map

Airport Shuttle Service - Upload a doc

Read this doc on Scribd: Airport Shuttle Service

Easy Guide - Upload a doc

Read this doc on Scribd: Easy Guide

Landmark Map



(Courtesy: Official Website of Bengaluru International Airport)

Scripting a World of Imagination!

“What a blind person needs is not a teacher but another self” – Helen Keller

TMGi team members at NAB.

There was tremendous joy in the air during the recently concluded TMGi Q1 quarterly event, as every year the team devotes its first quarterly event for a social cause. On March 21, 2008 the team was all set for an exciting visit to the world of folks who are challenged and strong willed. The team along with RDC school children visited National Association for Blind with much curiosity to see how the NAB trainees/individuals are trained to become successful software engineers, call center experts, textile weavers in their own ways.

One of the trainees at NAB displays amazing dexterity in using his Braille notes.

Highly elated, Director of NAB, Mr. Srinivas briefed the team about NAB and its objectives. This was followed by a stunningly fluent and impressive speech by one of the trainees at NAB. He displayed amazing dexterity in using his Braille notes. In order to engage and connect with the NAB students a number of Intel-NAB team building games were organized. The activities included – Blindfolded games, Scavenger Hunt, etc. But the highlight of the day was the Dice-Cricket which set out a flutter of excitement from the trainees.

Highlights of the team building games
Unique Scavenger Hunt: A very interesting and unique Scavenger Hunt was organized, wherein the list of items to be collected were engraved in Braille script and the team comprising of employees and trainees had to find the complete list of items ranging from items like pink clip, leather belt to a dry leaf.

Dice cricket in progress.

Dice cricket: Dice-Cricket was organized by the NAB staff, wherein two teams stood facing each other with a table in between. This table served as the Pitch. The game progressed by players of the fielding side rolling the dice on to the ‘pitch’ and the batting side doing the same to score runs.

Pass-the-parcel game in progress..

Pass–the-parcel: Two teams made up of both trainees and employees were formed. The employees were blindfolded and were asked to pass the parcel. The trainees were all excited and anxious to grab the parcel and record their win! With all the high energy flowing around, few employee volunteers took up the initiative to engage the RDC school children in a variety of events like drawing, coloring, lemon and spoon, singing and dancing events.

The team visits the NAB workshop.

After a lip-smacking and yummy lunch the team visited the training centers to understand how NAB provides training to its participants to become independent individuals. We saw them work on lathe machines, filing, drilling, and engaged in carpentry work as well as programming in VC++/Oracle on the computers. It was a pleasure to see all the resources that NAB had, these resources ranged from Braille Scripts, Slits to help the trainees punch their letters, a full-fledged library with versatile collection of Braille-ed books, electronic Braille Printer and other Multimedia devices just to mention a few. Besides this, NAB also showed us their excellent placement records with their trainees joining leading companies which included IT firms too.

After this short excursion through NAB, we witnessed yet another feat that proved to us that these trainees were multi-skilled despite being differently challenged. Quite a few of the students volunteered during the tea break to entertain us with their melodious songs. Prizes were given away to the trainees who came forward to sing and we must admit we noticed a couple of budding artists.

With fond memories of the day, we bid adieu cherishing the wonderful moments that we spent at NAB with the vivid thumb impressions of all the employees on a flip-chart. It was a feeling of joy and content to watch these students have fun amidst all the challenges that they were faced with.

"Opportunity, rather than charity" is what these individuals need.

Gallery :

Get in Touch with NAB :
NAB Rehabilitation Complex
CA Site No:4, NAB Road, Jeevan Bima Nagar,
Bangalore-560 075
India
Ph: +91-80-25281590 / +91-80-25281439
Mail: nabkarnataka@yahoo.co.in
Website: http://www.nabkarnataka.org/innerpage.html

"Honesty is the best Policy" (Proof & Contradiction)

I am not gonna take you into any proverbial training here! It was an auto-walah who raised this saying (fyi, he did it in English), and impressed us by his square actions.

[All conversation in red are by the auto-walah and are reproduced exactly.. He spoke in English, Mind you!]
I took an auto from Murugeshpalaya (a.k.a Chemfort vicinity), after having had a proper dinner @ Maduri Grand. I was with two of my friends (Antony, Varalu) and we began to chatter in Tamil. We had barely gone few mts that this guy grew interested in us - "Sir, Are you all from Tamil Nadu ? Which place are you from Sir ?".
"Yes, all belong to different places..". On hearing that one of us were from Chennai - "Sir, I would like to travel to Chennai and see the sea there!" (He grinned, glancing back at us, impressed by the literary effect he had successfully created). I was taken aback by his remarkably flawless syntax. Everybody speaks English, but this one was too polished & well laid out for an auto-walah. And so, we told him what he had to do to see the sea :) He seemed happy and continued (willing to converse more in English) - "Sir, how is my English ?". I was too overwhelmed and hit him with my appeciation - "Wah! kya english hai :)".
"Sir, I have been practising this language for the past one month, in just this small time I was able to learn this. I have been reading this newspaper regularly". And he showed us the Mid-Day Newspaper. "It is a very good feeling Sir. Everybody should learn English. Hindi is just our National language, but English is International language!". We nodded. It was a short ride and we soon got down. As we glanced at him to tell us the fare (for every Bangalorean who makes daily auto-trips, this is the most aweful moment with butterflies in his stomach while the auto-walah comes out with his G.P.F - greatest possible fare and presents his magical formula that helped him arrive at this stupendous figure!). He didn't budge, instead - "Sir, how much does the meter show ?". Then he took out his paper that would help him magnify the fare - "New rates sir, for 38 it comes to 40, look sir, correct ?". We would have given him any amount he demanded for the impression he had created, but he insisted - "Sir, it is the right of every passenger to see this and check". The G.P.F for him, pointed to Rs 60/-, which I happily paid (now this is what I called cent-percent Customer Satisfaction) and moved out wondering how the city would be had every auto-walah been like him.
As he rightly said - "Honesty is the best policy".
HENCE PROVED !

Now comes the contradiction, (I cite for this, an incident which occured on the same day, infact just couple of hours before we had dinner and got into the above said auto). We were returning from the brandfactory (marathahalli) in a BMTC bus and I held out the fare (which is also a G.P.F here in Bangalore, bus rates being mercilessly high) - 20 Rs. He gave me tkts which costed 18. I knew I had to get the change back, so waited as the conductor buzzed by to issue tkts to others at the other end of the bus. As my stop grew nearer, we asked him for the change for which made a jeering remark calling us software engineers and hinting at us not to make a big fuss about it. He finally pulled out the 2 Rs and tossed it to me, asking me for our tkts. I was under the impression that he wanted to cross-check and do some ksrtc fundae. But, he did something different. He got our tkts and handed them over to another fellow ! We were spellbound. This was the finest execution of day-robbery (regret : directly translated from its Tamil equivalent).
I have witnessed conductors get money & sneak away without issuing tkts. Others procrastinate issuing the change to passengers till its too late and the passengers let it go. I have often wondered about the number of commuters that BMTC serves and such petty incidents hit the corporation severly in terms of revenue. I must say the goverment takes heed of such acts and ensures people are issued tkts to the right place and at the right scale (leave alone the possibility of them not buying a tkt, its becoming the other way round - Conductors not issuing tkts!).
HENCE, CONTRADICTED !

Traffic Tamasha.. (Odd/Even Rule ??)

That Bengaluru is a genuine Garden City is a known & well-accepted fact, with adequate number of parks set everywhere and the wisest decision taken ever - retaining all those good old trees along the roads! But how long this city is going to inspire its inhabitants is a million-dollar question. With congestion developing all over the city and every possible space knit with flyovers, congested roads turning into a candidate for the highly popular one-way philosophy & over 200 new vehicles hitting roads everyday adding up to the already fragile network of roads (one-ways I would rather call them!), I see this cosmopolitan city inching towards a deadend !

Gone are the days when motorists stuck to the roads & traffic signs, new axioms have now emerged - follow the road when the signal shows green, follow the footpath when the signal shows red! The inventor of this new style of driving deserves sheer appreciation. Dangling up & down between the pavement & the road when the signal toggles, these prank loving auto-geeks make it miserable for a typical 'sadhu' driver to move ahead peacefully.

Traffic jams have become inevitable part of the daily life - I have seen the worst ones materialize and worsen in Airport Road and Outer-Ring Road (to mention just a few), wherein vehicles stay lined up for hours together without batting an eyelid. The capacity of roads in Bangalore is in total disproportion to the exorbitantly high number of vehicles plying, thus flushing out traffic from a junction or a signal is not a cakewalk. Statistics reveal that every km road has about 714 vehicles, hence proving that traffic density in bangalore is greatest. Read this wonderful post on Bangalore Jams.

The City Traffic Police has come up with a novel (thoroughly debatable though!) idea of introducing the alternate day system to reduce the congestion on roads (Source: Times of Indian, Jan 13). This rule will allow vehicles ending with odd and even registration numbers, respectively, to ply on alternate days. This means a vehicle owner takes out his/her vehicle on alternate days. By doing so, 30% reduction in the traffic is targeted. Government & Public Transport would be however exempted from this rule. Besides crunching the traffic down massively (a 30-50% decrease == massive), it would reduce pollution and promote use of public transport. But, again these are days of nanos and so if this rule gets a permanent nod, car buyers could go for two nano's (with odd & even registration respectively) thereby, not falling prey to the govt ;) Its now left to the govt to decide within a month's time whether the rule is to be approved or not. Meanwhile its a sit-n-debate time for the audience.

The govt could also take some time off and take some sane decisions regarding widening roads (esp because most of the roads are reported to be surrounded by ditches and wastelands) and limiting the number of vehicles being registered perday/perperson or whatsoever.


Other links I hit upon:
Driving India is a site dedicated to provide Driving Education to people.

Misty Monday Morning !

This morning was undoubtedly the best ones I have seen in Bangalore, with weather striking perfection. The 17 degrees Celsius Bangalore was clad in cent percent concentrated fog that hovered over every possible corner. As I stepped into the big busy Sony World Signal @ Koramangala, I was only astounded to realize that this junction that saw scores of cabs pass by every morning was literally invisible. Now, this is what I call Zero-Visibility! Company Cabs crawled through the whiteness, headlights on while people standing around waiting for their's marvelled at the meteorological spectacle.

Desperate to ensnare the bewitching weather, I shot a few glimpses of this delightful ambience enroute to my office, resonating between the window seats of my bus. I wondered how my driver managed to creep through, with absolutely nothing to see ahead. Such was the terrific fog that the huge Ecospace building (that housed Accenture) and the entirety of Intel Campus went completely untraceable from the Outer Ring Road. And if the reader wishes to get a hands on experience of this, I would suggest him to buzz by the 500 mt stretch of Sarjapura Road at Agra, wherein the entire space behind the Lemon Grass Restaurant remains disguised in fog, most of the days.

For those who missed out, here's the experience :

(P.S. Special thanks to my friends for their mobile cam's)

(NOTE:: Technical error caused this post to be dated SUNDAY Jan 13, though it has been posted today ie. MONDAY, Jan 14)